journeys abound with dignity

Last minute or day preparations are being made for my trip to the four corners area next weekend. I feel my G-D and spirit calling me to the region and as the days of my visit approach, the pull is stronger and my connection more solid than before. I so look forward to spending time, with me, all of me, praying and contemplating atop a mountain over looking the city. Buckets of tears will be shed, many thank yous spoken at which point I can sense completion drawing near and this I am grateful and thankful for,
as the time of recent has been well spent, but I am not a well rested warrior and my plight takes shape...
from near to afar.

verified by tiykiwdk

a'dog days' afternoon

laying an egg

The lower right hand corner of the bird shows the purpose of the bird at this time, as she lays an egg...

bird nesting

making a nest

thursday 08.06

The smell of her cologne lingers on my person like a sadness cometh over. She does not know me, she knows my name and what she knows she has assumed. And all the hours worth of promises she spoke about with conviction and detail surround her smile. Her thoughts many and my mind blank. I know what she represents and unfortunate as it might, she wanted it this way, needed it this way for some bizarre reason only she can explain, just as she explains everything else. In a riddle or a tall tale, she tells and some people, mistakenly listen. And I walk away to the scent that only she in her uniqueness makes this day or any day hereafter.

verified by ypkfk

accepted

Today I was formally invited and accepted an invitation to attend a META RETREAT while I am in Santa Fe on June 20th. The retreat is at the Upaya Zen Center and we will be talking or listening or being silent or meditating or all of the above about living with illness and then I will participate in a CONTEMPLATIVE WRITING seminar with other members followed by lunch and an evening of meditation in the TEMPLE. I find the location to be awe inspiring and the opportunity something of a life long ambition, for spiritual and other reasons.

wednesday 07.06

Today I piss random thoughts away as I do urine and although the flow would be better if wider,
the flow is steady,
thought flows, but I cannot grab them now and write them down for they are too random and too many all at once and the banks of my thought river overflow as a memories and get tucked away. deep away for another future moment...

verified by cclitk

brothers

fleeing the coop

imitation bananas

life in 'the dog house'

my new playmate that I can return to the parents at will

tuesday 06.06

I am not one of those superstitious people that refuses to exist today because of the said ramifications of 06 06 06 (666). It is one more thing for a worrier to worry about and thoughts are more important than worry as what ever is meant to be, is meant to be. And if the historians really do calculate the first baby born and equate him/her to Lucifer, shame on them. I personally could enjoy the attention and might welcome the fame although soon, it would get rather old. In a sense it is an excuse to failure. After all, I have been known to say the devil made me do it JUST like the next fellow.

So, today I continue, with little effort to locate my house key and I know that the picture fell out and I said 'hear hold this,' and whom ever is holding it has got to be tired of such a burden and If you do see it, let me know as I have been told to worry at the fact that someone, a stranger, has now access to the home and all its contents. Personally, I think I inadvertently threw it away, doing too many things at once and it sits in a dump somewhere South and East of Dallas. Either way, it is lost and the effort I will put into finding it, is little to none, especially today when I am waiting for fire and brimstone to erupt from the ground...watch your step as I will mine on a Tuesday.

monday 05.06

I am finding that the heat of Texas plays host to an entire new and irritating list of symptoms that may or may not be related to my terminal illness. The feeling of an internal sun burn is unpleasant as is the numbness in the fingers and the legs and ah, I still am curious to know WHY I stopped sweating time past but recent enough to remember the feeling as it made its way down my brow.

For thee days, and I have counted, my ears have rung and tonight, the ringing stopped and I run to the backyeard to listen to the sound a bird really makes once again.

a false positive

Last week word verification was placed on MY posts, my written word, and although I found this quite odd, I just figured after so many posts, it was something that was done by blogger.
Today, I clicked, by accident and fortune on the question mark only to learn that blogger calls me a 'false positive' and questions whether I am a spam blog AND for this reason, I write to assure them THIS IS NOT SPAM and this IS my blog for which I am true to its conviction, responsible for the content and the thought process.

So, to whomever will be reading this from blogger, I regret to inform you that I ACCEPT your letter of apology with bellowing laughter as I cannot not for the life of me, and I can many things for the life of me, figure, how YOU could consider my creative works SPAM.

Vanity yes, spam no. Happy reading from a not so impressed blogger who is equally excited that I will NOT any longer half to type 'osfugqwg' at two am with one eye open and one concentrating on the letters before me prior to posting.