My thoughts have been running, run fast and running far. Far , far away but I still think them and am unable to let them go. I am trying to balance my energy, but my thoughts are disallowing it, temporarily I think , but still, something new and different and quite uncomfortable for me to experience.

I went to slumber early last night and awoke several times in nightmares, being chased, being smothered and finally not being at all. Each time I awoke, I went outside and walked in the wet grass, the mud, and tried to re-focus and re-balance but was unable.

Today I continue to think and wonder and my person is not proud, my mind full of even more questions and my heart wondering why? Tell me why.

Today was much like the weather, overcast, rainy, full of thunder, sky to ground lightning....one of those why did I even get out of bed mornings.

Hopeful tomorrow will be better with a decent night of slumber, a drying out period outdoors and some attitude adjustments surrounding me, possibly including mine.

I weep in silence and alone.