...we picked up from where we left off, never missing a beat. Those from the outside would never have thought that it had been two years since we had been together face to face, cheek to cheek.

Mother and 'son', by all rights, having the time of our lives, together, with no agendas, loose schedules and plenty of love surrounding us, knowing this was probably the last time we will see one another, but the memories will last a lifetime and then some. A heart felt thank you for all who made our trip happen, our vision a reality, our expectations grander than we could have imagined. We would have moved mountains to see one another just one more time, if for only the last time we both remember, mind cognoscente and clear, love ever present and the truth of my terminal illness staring at both of us from a distance and sometimes too close

If only every mother and 'son' could have what we have, but for now, we keep it as ours...

Blue Man Group

momma carole and i

chicago 2008

basketball 101

The fact that I was unable to see the Mavericks play the Lakers on Tuesday was bothersome. The way it all came into fruition is what continues to hurt. The tickets were asked for, bought and paid for well over a month ago and as of Tuesday morning, everything was set. We were leaving for the game around 6:00pm for a 7:30pm tip off, me excited, as I never have been to an NBA game.

The weather was horrific. The lightning cracked and the thunder rumbled and the rain blew in every direction that the eye could see. Flash flood warnings were posted for outlying areas and most of this took place throughout the day with brief periods of let up, but only brief periods. Fools were out on the roads and for a brief second or longer I even felt sorry for the mail carriers. However, by mid afternoon the weather had subsided some, the game was not postponed nor canceled and I was most definitely looking forward to seeing the likes of Koby Bryant and Jason Kidd from close range.

The only difference between what we had in Texas and a tropical storm in Florida was the temperature had plummeted 40 degrees or so from Monday. But we were to be inside, had plenty of time to get to the game and there was no need to panic. Unfortunately, around 4:30pm, I received a text message saying he who I asked could not go to the game as he had chills and was staying in bed. I text back that I hoped he felt better and was sorry he was unable to make the game.

I was stuck with two tickets and was forced to call the rightful owner to find someone to give them to, as I knew not another to ask on such short notice. The tickets were given and to a huge Lakers fan as well, so the smile on his face when he came to pick them up made me feel good inside.

But the fact that I did not receive a phone call, but a text bothered me and continues to bother me as I knew my friend was not a basketball fan and something in my gut told me the story I was told was just that, a story.

I have one more chance to see a game, the final home game of the season and I guard the tickets with my life, hoping I can find someone between now and then that has a little more passion for the sport, the weather cooperates, birds chirp to a rising sun and excitement to see an NBA game once again fills the air I breathe.

I knew it had been awhile since I had written my thoughts when I went to sign in and my mind went blank. A blank that I seldom experience as I am always thinking, usually to the point of exhaustion and lack of not wanting to write, but the mere exhaustion of simply thinking ending with a, 'I will write that later.', realizing that later does not too often come.

So this morning while I was out in a down pour thinking, I decided it was time to write and to write more in the future as there is plenty to say, its just the semantics of getting the words down on paper.

My trip to CHICAGO had high expectations, not by intention, but by subconscious design and every expectation was surpassed and then some. Not only was I ready to get away and excited to see Momma Carole, but I was excited to see CHICAGO, the shopping, the play WICKED, the Blue Man Group, the restaurants and most importantly, have conversation that consisted of unconditional love, the love I have experienced from her for almost half my life now. We started where we last left off only we had the ability to talk for nearly five days, without interruption and the feeling of success flowed through my veins, like the water I drank and the little food I ate and before I knew it, the trip was over, knowing our chances of seeing one another again in this lifetime are slim, very slim.

And although we did not talk about the possibilities of not seeing one another again, we both knew it. The writing was in our minds and it was obvious at times, sometimes awkward but the experience itself surpassed anything I could have imagined and for this I am forever grateful and thankful.

I took a collage of pictures and intend to post many as memories, our memories, but worth sharing to anyone who chooses to look or discover my writing.

I now rest with the plan of a possible cruise before the end of May followed by my much talked about trip to California. After that, I think no further at this point as my body continues to weaken, my mind more foggy and my spirit so wanting to fly to another space and time. I have defeated all critics and stunned the medical community with hope and will as in black and white, my body should have given way time ago and I still feel the fight, just less intense and I still feel the want, just more at peace with stopping and resting and telling myself and others, it is alright. My journey near completion.