autumn

I am upon the Autumnal Equinox but fall does not show any signs which are visible to date. No leaves falling, no changing of colors, no cooler temperatures as Summer continues to bear her name with high temperatures and high humidity.

I try to keep in touch with those in my life only to find that with each passing day, the distance becomes obvious, me possibly reminding others of what they refuse to accept, death. It saddens me as I no not how to request another to accept me as me, knowing I cannot change me for the sake of another's request.

The process of dying continues, having visited for over two hours with my physician yesterday. It still takes time to process what he offers as medical science is done, only comfort provided through medication.

I still live with hope and free will, wanting to travel and then willing to accept what my destiny holds for me.

I just know, however; it would be easier if those that I hold in such high regards would show their faces, allow me to hear a voice and accept what I have been forced, whether I like it or not.