verbbage

The more I write and communicate with people through the written word, the more I am realizing and have come to realize how easy it is for another to take what I am writing out of context and this is not necessarily because I have not written well or exactly what I was thinking.

Many environmental tools come to play in one's ability to comprehend and fully understand what is being written, a simple bad day having the ability to alter one's perception of what I meant by the words I wrote, using their own knowledge as a base in determining what and why I write what I do.

mondays

For a reason I have never understood but often thought about, MONDAY seems to bring out the worst in people and when you ask about the impending approach of MONDAY, everyone has a different reason as to why it is not a favorite day. MONDAYS are no different here. This morning I had a package to be mailed and my mother was leaving, asked if anyone needed anything and I replied, 'would you mind mailing my package?' No. I got the package and the address and most important, the money to mail the package. Then the screaming began, something I thought might potentially happen but I just told myself THIS TIME would be different. It was not and until the garage door was slammed shut, my mother was screaming many obnoxious, having no merit, words and phrases and I had already walked away but was able to still hear her antics down the hall. I paid for it. She offered. No issue, right? Wrong, MONDAY.

a check-up

not a bad day, not as if I was expecting one. But all things considered, I was able to accomplish a few of the tasks I put before me, still constantly reminded of an UTI that goes away and returns as often as I say my middle name. Hopefully this week I will have x-rays and an ultra sound to determine where the problem is, how it might be repaired and/or the type of medication that will relieve my symptoms that keep me close to the ca mode, tears in my eyes, as the pain is past severe more times than not.

I continue to believe that the amount of medication I am consuming on a daily basis cannot be helping the situation as their is no time for my UTI's to heal as I feel well for a day or two only for the symptoms to return just as fierce as before.

Definitely my energy level has been affected but the diease process itself is draining and I am the first to admit that I do not take the time to rest properly, believing that day is coming soon enough. Still, I know the importance of taking care of the little I have left so I can continue to surprise the critics and keep others believing that I am playing a sick joke on all those that have given so graciously over my lifetime. And, unfortunately and against my liking, against my aporroval, people who believe they know me or have hints about me will doubt the seriousness of my illness not because I joke about as therapy but because they are ignorant and lack the knowledge to know better, think better and understand a very complicated disease process.