The days pass by quickly as I try to breathe, finding many things to blame for my constant wheezing: the trees, the dust in the air to being overly exhausted. Still I know the reason and this I cannot ignore, just bury it deeper for the time being or until I am forced to realize all that stands in my way,
my path,
my journey,
the end.

changes and the lack thereof

I have neglected the writing I see, nothing for almost a week, short week, but a week and the fact that bronchitis has paid me a lengthy visit is no excuse other than I have needed more rest, tried to get it ,only to awaken at the wildest hours in the midst of some serious dreaming that has me thrashing all over the bed.

I fell out of bed the other night and remembered what I was dreaming and actually had that fearful pit in the stomach so I walked around outside as Ashley Marie watched with caution. She most definitely is in tune to my illness and how I am feeling daily, wanting to be nearer, protecting me from friend and foe, showing diligence and conviction in the role of MY companion. In return she is loved, well loved and rewarded with walks, cookies and many positive affirmations about her beauty, her intelligence and how much I enjoy her presence in my life.

Aside from trying to feel better, which the thought itself is an oxymoron as I no longer know what feeling 'good' means, I have channeled my energies into helping prepare for Halloween, my favorite holiday where I usually do nothing, sometimes helping to pass out candy, eating almost as much as I pass out.

Tomorrow the doctor returns for his weekly visit and prior to his arrival I can already tell their is no improvement in my bronchitis, the breathing labored and often difficult for me to catch a breath while exerting no energy. So, I remain in tune with my body, awaiting Fall, convincing myself that the leaves are changing color but soon it will become a reality and I will have conquered another season, Summer, and the mere fact that I am able to continue to write my thoughts and share my experiences excites me, gives me that needed energy to know yesterday is no more, tomorrow is coming and now is.