the art of urination

Since the catheter was removed on Tuesday late afternoon, I have learned and continue to learn that there is an art to urination. I had made such a compromise to urinate, I am like a toddler learning how to urinate PROPERLY all over again.
Sitting down, non-issue.
Standing, well that is a whole different story and I realized it mighty fast Tuesday evening when my bladder came a calling and I aimed in one direction, after lifting the seats of course, and the aim was off by quite a bit, the bowl getting a good soaking, me getting a good toilet bowl cleaning after the fact. Since then I have still had to adjust my standing position so that all the urine enters the toilet instead of landing in places that, well, were not meant to be urinated upon and certainly not intended to be on purpose.

It is a learning process, an art of sorts that will take me time to master as I do not remember a flow so powerful, so steady and so going where I am aiming, its just my aiming has been more like playing a game of darts, improving, but still missing that needed bullseye to win the game.

post surgery

I returned to the urologist on Tuesday and the catheter was removed so now other than a lot of soreness, some swelling and bits of black and blue, I am healing and in my opinion, healing well. I did not realize how much the surgery had taken out of me until I had the time to think about it yesterday.

I spent too much time pushing myself and doing for myself as there was no one there to offer or to assist with laundry, food, the basics. Its not something new. It is something that has become my life. I continue to be a giver and help as much as I am able and then as soon as I turn around to take a break, I am asked to help another. However, when I ask for help, the help is not there or it begins with bantering and yelling and wondering why I need it, why can't you wait or tomorrow, I hear a lot of tomorrows.

So now when I make a statement and the statement is something that does not want to be heard by one or another of my parents, I am told to go to bed. 8:30 am, go to bed. 1:35pm, go to bed. And many days I prefer to stay in bed as it is the only place where i can find warm and inner peace and solitude.