many days with constant themes
This past week has been full of ups and downs sideways to sideways and once in awhile, I feel as though I was hanging above the Grand Canyon by a piece of thread.
Demons shown their ugly heads to people I am quite found of and I have been a sounding board, which is an honor, but the fact that I cannot correct the wrong doings makes me toss and turn at night and wonder why such cruelty becomes an obsession with a few and they continue to spin out of control, hurting, possibly evening destroying all in their path and the saddest part of all is as the narcissistic behavior continues, more are hurt and those preciously hurt are hurt even deeper, the scars to remain for a lifetime although the wounds themselves might possibly heal.
Discomfort is a good word I use to describe how I am feeling as I learned this week that I have a urethral stricture and surgery will take place on Wednesday morning. Considered high risk due to my often talked about medical complications, I am not concerned, keeping myself 'doped up' on prescribed tranquilizers. I walk around in a haze of sorts but enjoy the feeling as I must admit the dullness carries over to my liver, lungs and kidneys and allows me to function just a little better although I promised myself to take it easy up until surgery and thus far, I am doing well at doing just that. Still, I will be most grateful when the burning stops and I am able to pee like a normal person even if it is temporary, as the stricture can return but usually that takes years and years are not in my daily planner.
The holidays are approaching and I have been an Internet shopper. Getting what I want and what others near me have requested as well. One for me, one for you type of deal and sometimes its three for me and one for you and habitually I do this and find it almost comical as long as I know the funds are available and I am taking care of the business at hand.
If I am away for a few days it is only due to surgery and I will try to blog as soon as I am able as I should have quite a bit of time to lay around and think, sound off and type. I had the surgery once before, many years ago and remember nothing of it so I am leaving 'it' in the hands of my urologist and my creator to allow everything to go smoothly and as expected with a return home on Wednesday at all but they are taking no chances and preparing me for the possibility of staying a few extra days in the hospital just so they are confident my body is recovering well and the surgery was successful.
Now, I try to rest and eat well and take my vitamins as well as smoothie drinks in preparation. Its my version of pre-op and so far, it seems to be working well for me.
Demons shown their ugly heads to people I am quite found of and I have been a sounding board, which is an honor, but the fact that I cannot correct the wrong doings makes me toss and turn at night and wonder why such cruelty becomes an obsession with a few and they continue to spin out of control, hurting, possibly evening destroying all in their path and the saddest part of all is as the narcissistic behavior continues, more are hurt and those preciously hurt are hurt even deeper, the scars to remain for a lifetime although the wounds themselves might possibly heal.
Discomfort is a good word I use to describe how I am feeling as I learned this week that I have a urethral stricture and surgery will take place on Wednesday morning. Considered high risk due to my often talked about medical complications, I am not concerned, keeping myself 'doped up' on prescribed tranquilizers. I walk around in a haze of sorts but enjoy the feeling as I must admit the dullness carries over to my liver, lungs and kidneys and allows me to function just a little better although I promised myself to take it easy up until surgery and thus far, I am doing well at doing just that. Still, I will be most grateful when the burning stops and I am able to pee like a normal person even if it is temporary, as the stricture can return but usually that takes years and years are not in my daily planner.
The holidays are approaching and I have been an Internet shopper. Getting what I want and what others near me have requested as well. One for me, one for you type of deal and sometimes its three for me and one for you and habitually I do this and find it almost comical as long as I know the funds are available and I am taking care of the business at hand.
If I am away for a few days it is only due to surgery and I will try to blog as soon as I am able as I should have quite a bit of time to lay around and think, sound off and type. I had the surgery once before, many years ago and remember nothing of it so I am leaving 'it' in the hands of my urologist and my creator to allow everything to go smoothly and as expected with a return home on Wednesday at all but they are taking no chances and preparing me for the possibility of staying a few extra days in the hospital just so they are confident my body is recovering well and the surgery was successful.
Now, I try to rest and eat well and take my vitamins as well as smoothie drinks in preparation. Its my version of pre-op and so far, it seems to be working well for me.
posted by the warrior at 1:53 PM
1 Comments:
blessings, eric!
just finished surgery myself.
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