moms

It is most unfortunate, but true, that the relationship formed fifteen years ago between another I call mom and myself is one which is not understood by persons in her life and persons in mine as well, and as much as we profess our love for one another, enjoy the hours upon hours we spend conversing and sharing, we know that nothing will make another accept what is not theirs, it being ours and only ours to understand, appreciate and accept as truth and unconditional love.

It makes the others no less worthy or loved or remembered. It simply is something we, trying many times with no luck, no positive result, cannot get some to understand and their jealousy speaks loudly, yet never preventing us to stay connected spiritually, faithfully...just like a mother and son can do and being that I am lucky, blessed, to have her in my life, I try to love my mother more, include her in my everyday doings which often is met with failure, but me knowing how deeply she is loved as a biological mother should be, good and bad. Had I not this relationship from afar I still would love my mother, but it is Carole that has taught me how enjoyable it can be to love a mother, a love my mother and I do not have and have never shared as one, as ours.

Instead, all the positive that I feel is kept silent as when I have tried to speak I have been silenced by a word, set of words, an action or a denial that my feeling is truly my feeling. Thus, I continue down my life path knowing there can be more but not seeking it as the energy it consumes is now too great and too over powering for what I have left to give and give I always will whether it is doubted as an untruth or not seen at all.