energy extended

The fear that I might have thought, more significantly, months ago about returning to Florida never materialized. My constant thinking and coming to a better understanding of my disease process and my allowing myself to feel, squashed all doubts I had in believing that Florida would remind me of the place where I got sick, found out I was sick, or started diagnostics and emergency treatment. I was able to relax, communicate, listen and explore without worry, without regret.

And when it was time for me to return to Texas, I felt more than disappointment. I felt loss and the pain associated with loss and what I do miss from many years of living in the 'sunshine state'. And once again I realized how little relevance permanence has in life even though so much emphasis is placed on establishing roots, a where am I from or needing to belong somewhere, cause and effect.

I enjoyed my time and those whose presence I was in and I think of the memories created and the hope that more might linger several months down the line so that If I am able and willing, a return can be planned and shared as hope builds and I continue to form foundation around it all while knowing and thinking of the more definite, more complete act of living and the effort needed. Energy extended to be in the here and now.