serendipity (noun) a natural gift of making useful discoveries by accident; sagacity; Eric Scott Lane, a true warrior who lives with conviction and will be remembered as a visionary as he chronicles a life path of his TERMINAL ILLNESS that appeared with a vengence, unwelcomed and unwanted. It is about that which makes the human soul pure, LOVE, until the typing eventually stops and he returns to his creator.
posted by the warrior at 9:52 AM
just a simple young man full of texasTALLtales that wants to be a rock-star and fly fish in montana with hip-high waiters, dry cigarettes and an unbroken bottle of aged port.
"my world is my playground, my canvas, and this my color wheel. A way to create, express and ponder as I walk about and sense my surroundings through my mind's eye. Energy is constant and ever changing and sometimes colors muddy, but more often than not, in my world, a piece is complete. This is MY process, MY memory and MY gift. SERENDIPITY2006: the only piece that will remain incomplete
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My disease has rooted and taken hold and continues to grow. There is no cure, only hope and pure will as I remain terminal, await the call of a higher power telling me to surrender my soul and am labeled end stage 'actively dying' by the medically gifted professionals that have and continue to surround me. I have many questions, no regrets and know, my purpose has meaning in the here and now and the hereafter, agreed upon before and possibly again. And whatever the outcome and when the conclusion and final brush stroke is laid to rest, I will remain a memory, a chosen one until eternity or until someone tells mortal souls different. There are no rules and there are no directions. This is not a dress rehearsal. This is my life as I know it today, yesterday and tomorrow. It simply is.
4 Comments:
Hello My fellow warrior, I have been thinking of you....I hope you are well...Love and light....LLT
Have you considered 'positive self-talk' as a way to fight the darker thoughts? It is a quite effective facet of cognitive behaviour therapy.
CBT is not especially new (developed in Britain during the eighties) but is new to many parts of the US so your hospice team may not be fully aware of the impact it can have on (doncha hate catch phrases, even if the thing is applicable?!) quality of life issues for the person employing it.
If they cock their shiney little bills at you in a quizzical way should you bring it up, smile, nod, and then when you can be politely rid of them for the day Google Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. Several good sites will help you figure out if it is for you, and what to do next should you find you want to try it.
I tried to post this info last night, the 11th, but the servers were overloaded.
And truthfully, so was I.
Bianca
eric, i'm not computing some of the information you're posting about your current condition and the hospice team.....
kj,
I changed hospice teams as the previous had made too many recent mistakes with medication...wrong medicine and wrong dosage and I, the patient, had to bring it to their attention with the guidance of my PCP and RN friends who listened when I told them something about me was just not right or quite different from what I am used to experiencing, keeping in mind that what I am used to experiencing is far from normal...
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