4,000 yesterdays ...incomplete again

There is no sound and silence is not golden, not this evening. Silence is a sign, a signal and the pathway to worry. It is a feeling I have felt before, almost 4,000 yesterdays ago or longer, I felt this silence and I did not like its representation then and I do not like its representation again.

I buried this silence, conducted a ritual, invited friends and acquaintances and buried it, not in a bottle of Absolute vodka, but a proper burial with sand and a shovel and tobacco, lots of tobacco.

I learned of this passive act of burial from 'the therapist of higher consciousness' and I saw her for 1000 yesterdays and another one for 3,000 yesterdays before her and first him assured me, this feeling was buried, never to resurface, calmed and complete. And after all those yesterdays and those hours within the yesterdays, somehow I convinced myself that they were right.

My feeling has resurfaced and It is starting to spin, controllable I am certain, but spinning within me, and it has decided to camp there, overnight or less I am begging, but I feel its position inside and I graciously beg it to leave, offer a token for it's travel and instead it stays planted, marveling at my internal space it has the idea of taking. I know this because it had the idea before and it succeeded and the scars still remain, embedded under my arm and as a memory of destruction from all those past yesterdays. And it is today I can see it again, and the site is discovered...