saturday

I know it's Saturday by the count of pills in my pill box, no other way. I have been ill for two days now, staying in bed, Ashley Marie by my side. We have gone outside three, maybe four times and it is dreary, dark and cold. Thunder echoes in the distance as it starts to rain one more time.

Chicago is three weeks away and mentally I am more than ready, physically I have many questions that still cannot be answered.

My brother just walked in with his family and some guests. The explanation as to why I have been getting hateful looks from my mother all day. My brother Joel and his two boys arrived from Kansas City sometime last night. We have not spoken in well over ten years and today was not a time for reflections or what could have beens. I stayed in my room upon seeing them from a distance and heard the sounds that a chicken makes come out of my brothers mouth. All these years and his maturity is brought into question, by me.

I have nothing to say and feel even less and thus, write only for the purpose of a time line, no other.