wednesday 16.08

Rest for two days or maybe less has done me a bit of good. I caught up on some reading, celebrated a birthday and spent the remainder of time doing what I set out to do and that was introducing several new medications to my system while tossing others down the toilet as biohazzard.

As of this afternoon, my results had not paid off, the nausea constant but this too could be blamed on the relentless heat of the outdoors. I still have hope, even so that I plan for my trip to Florida in early September, to do more of the same, only with people I know from living there. College football always has brought out a feeling of freshness and new and this year I challenge myself to make it no different.

I am consciously aware of having gone inward and for a short time I am fine with this decision knowing this too can be perceived as unhealthy, so I talk through my thoughts and my sometimes still fears with professionals. Sometimes I feel less connected but my long term objectives outweigh any short term opinions and rumblings I hear in the background. I am determined to battle forward and a regroup to assess what is before me in needed to move onward.