sunday 13.08

I have spent a good portion of time this weekend in a self formed seclusion, to the confusion of those in my immediate surroundings grumbling about what to or not to say to me as I passed them by time and again, in no order and for the reason of simple retrieval or the craving of nicotine.

My mind full of thoughts needed to be slowed down and I the thinker needed to process as many thoughts as possible so that I could release them, feeling less mental fatigue and clutter. So some thoughts remained longer than others and these seemed endless in my ultimate desire to squash them as something less than reality. And although the process was painful, the end result has left me more focused on the path of life I walk. The colors that I see are more vibrant and the attention to detail, second nature upon first, second and even third glance.

Tonight I feel successful and my head aches not only in the front but also the left side and the right side and I have decided, for now, my processing is complete as rest is wanted and hopefully will be achieved without the constant awakening every two or three hours, sometimes out of a deep slumber, a fore shadow or just the primal urge to use the bathroom.

I prepare for another day no further and await its arrival but first, I declare value in s-l-e-e-p with clean sheets and a pillow fluffed and of course a dog lying on the floor watching and listening to my every motion.