I am beginning to wonder if sleep is possibly overrated, very overrated, as I cannot seem to get a full or decent night's worth of slumber, even with my eyes droopy, my head sagging and my mind a bit or more than delirious...
Daytime naps seem to bring about dreams that are somewhat frightful or a deeper sleep but a sleep that makes me arise with chills, often sweats and very little time having passed and trying to calm myself and fall back into sleep is a virtual 'no go' as my mind begins to take over and the stress of everyday living or my everyday thoughts prevent me from being able to shut down, for awhile or longer and get the rest that is said to be needed to function and function well.
Last night I fell out of bed, unintentionally and the hard thump on the floor, falling flat has made it all the more difficult as I now am faced with nursing bruising upon my back and buttocks that is preventing me from getting a sound sleep. The fact that the wind was knocked from my person was bothersome as well as I realized in time of need or crisis I am, for the most part, on my own, preferring to do more than I am supposed to, as a show or sign of the hope and the will I have to continue and this way I allow others that may be around to concentrate on their own agendas instead of focusing so much on mine...
Having spent so long as an independent, doing and living my own way has taken its toll as my body moves forward, slower, but forward and the stresses are evident upon the face of more than one and thus although I was warned again on Friday about 'undertaking too much' instead of resting more, I am cutting into the days I have left, but at this point and with the rules and regulations put so strictly into place more recently than not, it is just as well that I might be or am loosing days as the thought of continuing with so little freedom under a set of rules, grateful as I may be for a roof over my person and a place to lay my often weary head, is playing havoc on my psyche and to determine which scenario might be worse is energy I choose not to waste as I believe the answer would surprise even myself once my thoughts were fully studied in a neutral environment...
Of all desires and wants and thoughts, even wishes, Texas was NEVER on the list and I cannot imagine that list having changed all that much as my favorite places, spots, still pull me in their direction no matter how I feel, trying to set aside anything that might influence such thought as the day to day grind, how I feel (mind, body and spirit), or what appears to be boredom that I might be experiencing for lack of a better word, at this early or late hour depending upon how one looks at the clock ticking and tocking before me.
Time will tell as I arise again...
Daytime naps seem to bring about dreams that are somewhat frightful or a deeper sleep but a sleep that makes me arise with chills, often sweats and very little time having passed and trying to calm myself and fall back into sleep is a virtual 'no go' as my mind begins to take over and the stress of everyday living or my everyday thoughts prevent me from being able to shut down, for awhile or longer and get the rest that is said to be needed to function and function well.
Last night I fell out of bed, unintentionally and the hard thump on the floor, falling flat has made it all the more difficult as I now am faced with nursing bruising upon my back and buttocks that is preventing me from getting a sound sleep. The fact that the wind was knocked from my person was bothersome as well as I realized in time of need or crisis I am, for the most part, on my own, preferring to do more than I am supposed to, as a show or sign of the hope and the will I have to continue and this way I allow others that may be around to concentrate on their own agendas instead of focusing so much on mine...
Having spent so long as an independent, doing and living my own way has taken its toll as my body moves forward, slower, but forward and the stresses are evident upon the face of more than one and thus although I was warned again on Friday about 'undertaking too much' instead of resting more, I am cutting into the days I have left, but at this point and with the rules and regulations put so strictly into place more recently than not, it is just as well that I might be or am loosing days as the thought of continuing with so little freedom under a set of rules, grateful as I may be for a roof over my person and a place to lay my often weary head, is playing havoc on my psyche and to determine which scenario might be worse is energy I choose not to waste as I believe the answer would surprise even myself once my thoughts were fully studied in a neutral environment...
Of all desires and wants and thoughts, even wishes, Texas was NEVER on the list and I cannot imagine that list having changed all that much as my favorite places, spots, still pull me in their direction no matter how I feel, trying to set aside anything that might influence such thought as the day to day grind, how I feel (mind, body and spirit), or what appears to be boredom that I might be experiencing for lack of a better word, at this early or late hour depending upon how one looks at the clock ticking and tocking before me.
Time will tell as I arise again...
posted by the warrior at 5:43 AM
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