the process
I choose certain times to write, not that my thought process starts and stops, stops and starts, but I need for my energy to be just right or sometimes completely off balance so that my words may express what I am truly trying to say.
Sometimes this happens with great success and other times what I am saying comes out like 'scrambled eggs' but it still is part of the thought process I am experiencing and the physical manifestations I am experiencing.
The process of experiencing what I have come to know as a never forgiving, always present, ever cruel and sometimes embarrassing, unexplainable and often very, very tiresome journey that IS my life path.
And along the way people, hundreds of people have joined me from all over and written thoughts, many private that I am asked to keep to myself, that give me the strength, fortitude and courage to want and need another breath, another day, another season, knowing that all that I want is not what I will need and thus, one day, it will be time and when that time comes I will think of the others, the countless others that have cheered me on, taught me so much and smile as I drift into a land and a place that is unknown but revered as better than where I am now...
And knowing that I will feel a contentment from the power of numbers makes it easier to write, to express a thought or an idea or to just reflect on the grueling journey it has been.
Still, I think of others that are gone suddenly and never had the experience I am having and I wonder...why? Am I missing something, learning to slowly or is the fight in me so great and powerful that the word 'quit' has vanished from my vocabulary altogether, with other words filling the void, a small void as I never thought of myself as a quitter,
but I never thought I would have so much impact on others and others could have so much impact on me.
Its for me I write but it for YOU I share and continue to share until I no longer can.
Then my hope is that all are updated by the one placed in charge of maintaining my blog so that it may continue when my mind cannot and you can be made aware of what I will be experience that I no longer can share, until I breathe my last breath...
when the questions I ponder are revealed to me in the form of answers one question at a time...
just as I read the thoughts written to me by others, one word at a time, in silence and in awe...
humbled,
always humbled.
Sometimes this happens with great success and other times what I am saying comes out like 'scrambled eggs' but it still is part of the thought process I am experiencing and the physical manifestations I am experiencing.
The process of experiencing what I have come to know as a never forgiving, always present, ever cruel and sometimes embarrassing, unexplainable and often very, very tiresome journey that IS my life path.
And along the way people, hundreds of people have joined me from all over and written thoughts, many private that I am asked to keep to myself, that give me the strength, fortitude and courage to want and need another breath, another day, another season, knowing that all that I want is not what I will need and thus, one day, it will be time and when that time comes I will think of the others, the countless others that have cheered me on, taught me so much and smile as I drift into a land and a place that is unknown but revered as better than where I am now...
And knowing that I will feel a contentment from the power of numbers makes it easier to write, to express a thought or an idea or to just reflect on the grueling journey it has been.
Still, I think of others that are gone suddenly and never had the experience I am having and I wonder...why? Am I missing something, learning to slowly or is the fight in me so great and powerful that the word 'quit' has vanished from my vocabulary altogether, with other words filling the void, a small void as I never thought of myself as a quitter,
but I never thought I would have so much impact on others and others could have so much impact on me.
Its for me I write but it for YOU I share and continue to share until I no longer can.
Then my hope is that all are updated by the one placed in charge of maintaining my blog so that it may continue when my mind cannot and you can be made aware of what I will be experience that I no longer can share, until I breathe my last breath...
when the questions I ponder are revealed to me in the form of answers one question at a time...
just as I read the thoughts written to me by others, one word at a time, in silence and in awe...
humbled,
always humbled.
posted by the warrior at 11:07 PM
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