thursday 25.05

I keep asking whomever I ask, usually someone with a nice title, maybe not a high paying title, but a title just the same, if my situation is 'normal' when viewed as a complete situation with other persons who are experiencing the process of death and dying. And I ask this because, as dysfunctional everyone says their family is, I want some kind of validation that mine is just like all the others. Unfortunately, I continue to hear that sadly, my situation if far from normal and it troubles even the most schooled is psychiatric care and the 'art of death and dying'.

Everyone deals with the concept of the mortal being differently, but having said this, there still are certain things that society just expects from a family, biological or otherwise and I am learning quickly, that mine does not even rate mediocre. And possibly it is because my family has not experienced its share of death and illness and possibly it is just a lack of compassion we have for one another, the later being the most likely scenario. And although it saddens me greatly, I accept it as my dysfunction and know that this too is temporary, unsettling, but temporarily. I never thought I would be in this situation and to know or hear or feel that my own do not 'get it', churns my stomach even more than the disease process itself.