a curve ball
As midnight approaches I look outside and swear it must be raining, but it is only raining in my head. I blog lightly tonight, treading softly and the reasons are many. I am looking for that curve ball to knock me off my feet, the one I talk about in idle chit chat, but hope to avoid.
And this evening, without warning, the curve ball struck and before I knew it, I was down on the ground, emotionally, and am yet to pick myself back up.
My trip to San Francisco is being delayed. Not out of choice but rather matter of fact. I do not have a ride to the airport. There, I said it and postponement is inevitable, the bed and breakfast cancelled. I live in a city that is in one of the fastest growing counties (number four) to be exact, in the country and there is no cab service or door to door to the airport. My options were limited but I needed this trip, so I knew it would all be serendipity. I forgot about the curve ball and it was thrown and thrown hard. I am comforted to know that I was able to simply postpone but rest uneasy as the word postpone has an internal feel of permanence.
So this being said, I am on edge, disappointed, as I have jumped through circles of emotions this day with health issues, some of which are under temporary band aid and the rest I simply have ignored to keep some assemblage of order in my life.
I will continue to seek future travel and lower my expectations even further and shake my head to the notion that just when I thought my life could not get any more complicated, my mind any more cluttered and my emotions further displaced, it did and like everything else, I am forced to embrace it with out the proper knowledge and forethought.
I simply move on.
I wonder why my package from Santa Barbara is so delayed in its arrival. I wonder why the pictures that were taken of me on the set of KTLA were stolen from the digital camera they were stored in. I wonder what time the hospice nurse will arrive here tomorrow and I just simply wonder, dropping my head and wiping a tear from my eye. It is time to smoke, so quietly, I will stumble toward the backyard and watch the clouds roll, forcing the moon to change its expressions, much like I have.
I never was good at the game of baseball and never did hit a curve ball and this time was no different.
And this evening, without warning, the curve ball struck and before I knew it, I was down on the ground, emotionally, and am yet to pick myself back up.
My trip to San Francisco is being delayed. Not out of choice but rather matter of fact. I do not have a ride to the airport. There, I said it and postponement is inevitable, the bed and breakfast cancelled. I live in a city that is in one of the fastest growing counties (number four) to be exact, in the country and there is no cab service or door to door to the airport. My options were limited but I needed this trip, so I knew it would all be serendipity. I forgot about the curve ball and it was thrown and thrown hard. I am comforted to know that I was able to simply postpone but rest uneasy as the word postpone has an internal feel of permanence.
So this being said, I am on edge, disappointed, as I have jumped through circles of emotions this day with health issues, some of which are under temporary band aid and the rest I simply have ignored to keep some assemblage of order in my life.
I will continue to seek future travel and lower my expectations even further and shake my head to the notion that just when I thought my life could not get any more complicated, my mind any more cluttered and my emotions further displaced, it did and like everything else, I am forced to embrace it with out the proper knowledge and forethought.
I simply move on.
I wonder why my package from Santa Barbara is so delayed in its arrival. I wonder why the pictures that were taken of me on the set of KTLA were stolen from the digital camera they were stored in. I wonder what time the hospice nurse will arrive here tomorrow and I just simply wonder, dropping my head and wiping a tear from my eye. It is time to smoke, so quietly, I will stumble toward the backyard and watch the clouds roll, forcing the moon to change its expressions, much like I have.
I never was good at the game of baseball and never did hit a curve ball and this time was no different.
posted by the warrior at 11:32 PM
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