monday 08.05
Too sleep demons, too sleep. I need you to sleep now. It is monday morning and I just awoke and you, without granting permission have been playing for hours. No wonder I awoke to Ashley sleeping next to me, licking my right face cheek. I stroked her and told her everything was al right, no worry. She jumped up to be taken outside, but she starred and I knew, she sensed darkness. It had entered my room and planted itself, for awhile I think, but still planted and it was not about to show itself to me, but to Ashley, yes, a fore warning.
Awakened again, by the morning and it is late for my standards and Ashley is tucked under my right side and refuses to move without my coaxing. She has returned to my resting spot as before, the demons lurking near, Ashley refusing to move without my command and conviction. I stir and as I do, something is not correct. Something feels odd, but nothing is wrong, its not supposed to be today, nothing is wrong, I keep trying to convince myself.
I go to the bathroom and prepare for the day. Well dressed and aching, body temperature low, my mind shifts from the chirp of the birds to finding and speaking directly too a demon, taking my breathing air. The demons await and I, with tears, put them off and write. A steady tear flows from my eyes, blurring my vision and churning my stomach.
It is monday and the demons have appeared, not talking, only appearance and there visit is unwelcomed and unwanted but embraced and forgiven just the same. Death awaiting me and the process, ever slowly, internally burns as signs from the after life take flight and pay homage to me and I interpret as only I know how, scared, alone and only forty.
Awakened again, by the morning and it is late for my standards and Ashley is tucked under my right side and refuses to move without my coaxing. She has returned to my resting spot as before, the demons lurking near, Ashley refusing to move without my command and conviction. I stir and as I do, something is not correct. Something feels odd, but nothing is wrong, its not supposed to be today, nothing is wrong, I keep trying to convince myself.
I go to the bathroom and prepare for the day. Well dressed and aching, body temperature low, my mind shifts from the chirp of the birds to finding and speaking directly too a demon, taking my breathing air. The demons await and I, with tears, put them off and write. A steady tear flows from my eyes, blurring my vision and churning my stomach.
It is monday and the demons have appeared, not talking, only appearance and there visit is unwelcomed and unwanted but embraced and forgiven just the same. Death awaiting me and the process, ever slowly, internally burns as signs from the after life take flight and pay homage to me and I interpret as only I know how, scared, alone and only forty.
posted by the warrior at 9:00 AM
1 Comments:
My friend, you are never alone. There are many of us, though we cannot experience what you are going through, who visit you every day in our minds...who will remember you when you can no longer hold on...who will think of you decades from now when many loved ones have passed.
Do not give up the good fight yet, for you have been aptly dubbed, warrior.
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