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I am reflecting a year now, or just a few days over a year, living in Texas. I try not to reflect too much as what I see is often painful. I came here knowing something was physically wrong and the severity was beginning to be talked about amongst my Florida doctors. I thought, perhaps, I would have minor surgery, several months of rest and recuperation and then my ventures would take me onward.

My ventures will take me onward and upward too.

After a year I remain under hospice care with no cure for the multi system breakdown that will take my life, sooner than later although as time continues to pass, I question the doctors and nurses more only to have re-confirming tests that show my body functioning ina survival type mode. They are however, unable to pinpoint the EXACT timing of death, which has been a source of frustration for me, no longer answering the question of how does it feel to still be alive...

How does it feel that I have not yet thrown a clot and bled to death? How does it feel that my kidneys help to filter out toxins for an over worked spleen and an almost shutdown liver? How does it feel that I am breathing at 37% of capacity? How does it feel, hold tight and I shall let you know if willing and able. The asking will be over. And life will continue without me.

Personally, I am just thankful for a little extra time, a new tune on satellite, more travel plans and more thinking, becoming deeper and deeper.