hollow
Today has been one of those days where I wanted to sleep in, read a good book and sip tea. Of course playing ball with Ashley Marie is in there too, but that is simply a given that as long as there is no lightning, you will see Ashley and I playing ball, fetch, keep away, etc.
Instead, the door slammed shortly after 7 am and with the slam my body flew too, not knocking me on the floor, but definitely taking any desire to continue to sleep about the wealth I was being given, I was wide awake.
I slid out of bed and counted my daily doses of medication, minus the prn, did a morphine treatment, hit the shower and went outside with the two dogs, as my parents had left for a medical appointment.
It did not take long for me to realize that I still was tired and after a bit I crawled back into bed, dressed for the day and all, only to be re-awakened by the door bell, which interesting enough, I am only able to hear it ding and possibly dong less than 10% of the time I have been staying at my parent's home.
After returning, my mother asked if I had any whited and I was able to gather some items to complete her load and before I realized it, I was folding a load of colors, the whites put away hours ago.
My mother and I went to Kroger for a few items and actually came home with no less than we set out for, me indulging myself to some chocolate and gummy bears and to my amazement, a bag of bit o honey ( sitting atop my list of favorite candies, at least as long as I am able to remember, skipping more than a few years as I was unable to find them and Mary Jane's were a mere replacement out of force, them or nothing.
As I walked around with my several items I ran into my mother once or twice, dumping items from my carry basket into her cart and I noticed how extremely tired I was. The fog was not roaming the floors or hiding in the air ducts, my mood was stable, I was and felt rested so it was not that type of tired, I simply was tired. Mentally fatigued and now, several hours later, the lethargy continues and I am aware that the disease I embraced is more than a formidable opponent and as I use the sir name warrior, I am becoming, not out of want nor choice, clearly attune to understanding the force which my disease brought and any move I have made to stay a step ahead or atop its symptoms, the ferocious power I am only beginning to feel, more frequent, leaving me feeling somewhat hollow...
Instead, the door slammed shortly after 7 am and with the slam my body flew too, not knocking me on the floor, but definitely taking any desire to continue to sleep about the wealth I was being given, I was wide awake.
I slid out of bed and counted my daily doses of medication, minus the prn, did a morphine treatment, hit the shower and went outside with the two dogs, as my parents had left for a medical appointment.
It did not take long for me to realize that I still was tired and after a bit I crawled back into bed, dressed for the day and all, only to be re-awakened by the door bell, which interesting enough, I am only able to hear it ding and possibly dong less than 10% of the time I have been staying at my parent's home.
After returning, my mother asked if I had any whited and I was able to gather some items to complete her load and before I realized it, I was folding a load of colors, the whites put away hours ago.
My mother and I went to Kroger for a few items and actually came home with no less than we set out for, me indulging myself to some chocolate and gummy bears and to my amazement, a bag of bit o honey ( sitting atop my list of favorite candies, at least as long as I am able to remember, skipping more than a few years as I was unable to find them and Mary Jane's were a mere replacement out of force, them or nothing.
As I walked around with my several items I ran into my mother once or twice, dumping items from my carry basket into her cart and I noticed how extremely tired I was. The fog was not roaming the floors or hiding in the air ducts, my mood was stable, I was and felt rested so it was not that type of tired, I simply was tired. Mentally fatigued and now, several hours later, the lethargy continues and I am aware that the disease I embraced is more than a formidable opponent and as I use the sir name warrior, I am becoming, not out of want nor choice, clearly attune to understanding the force which my disease brought and any move I have made to stay a step ahead or atop its symptoms, the ferocious power I am only beginning to feel, more frequent, leaving me feeling somewhat hollow...
posted by the warrior at 3:35 PM
1 Comments:
Eric!
How are you old friend? I'm no longer with HCPro, but the email in my profile should work. it's at comcast. I'd print it here, but the spambots scare me. Let me know if you still can't find it. I know it's in my profile.
Long story short, I now have a 5 month old to go with my two year old. My former employer was a...how shall we say? It starts with "C" and rhymes with "punt." I left in September, and have recently started my own company. You can find it at www.marbleheadvintagephotography.com.
My email might be there too. I really like working for myself, even if my boss is a prick.
Hope all is well.
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