I do not understand nor can I begin to comprehend how I can ask someone to sit down at their convenience so I can explain how and why my feelings are being hurt. Instead of their showing (no eye contact just a raising voice that continues to rise in volume and anger) any type of compassion or understanding, I hear laughter from the distance and I am told 'you need to change your feelings'.

In all of my years of existence and many in therapy to understand why and what makes me...me, I was always taught that IF you use feeling words you immediately take someone of the defense and prevent them from being hurt in return as well as making them understand what you are trying to say...YOU HURT MY FEELINGS is a power statement that is filled with beauty, now based upon my feelings NOT supposed to be hurting as they are to be changed, I can only shake my head and let the tears roll down my eyes and know that I am residing in the wrong situation altogether.

If I only kept count of the times I am told, 'you're weird' I would be a wealthy man on a yacht sailing the seas from port to port until I found the perfect spot made up of crimsons and yellow hues with a touch of ultramarine and cobalt blue and a small drop of veridian green, the dolphins jumping beside me as I swim with them my yacht anchored, my cold spirits chilling on ice on the black sand beaches that appear untouched by human hands or feet.

Today, much older and wiser, I am once again treated like that 13 or 14 year old and it is affecting my last chapter, my final journey on this plane. And my only option, 'change your feelings'.

I will continue to smell flowers and remain in silence as my words have no importance, my feelings even less.