with hesitation
I watched as the jets were directed to their resting spots in Dallas with precision knowing that my mind was ready for travel but my physical body had other manifestations that were to demand my immediate attention.
So, without hesitation we passed the airport not once, but thrice and made a b line for home were I now rest and hope to capture the energy and power of the rolling thunder and lightning streaks as the external energy shows her face with conviction and sometimes malice. It smells fresh and there is sometimes silence and I hear my breathing, labored a bit. I adjust the weakness of my fingers and that of my legs and shut my eyes occasionally as I am tired, physically exhausted and my trip to New Mexico postponed again with watered eyes and thoughts racing of what should have been as I think calendar dates for re-schedule believing there will be a re-schedule, but beginning to wonder altogether.
For today I am not physically feel well anywhere and the same was for yesterday and the yesterday before that and tomorrow here, looms with the occasional natural, unforced light of an approaching storm from the North and the West reminding me I am to be somewhere else enjoying myself. The phone rings and I wait to hear the message of those that wish me well as they put me in their thoughts and prayers and know their thoughts pure, as is their own thinking of my well being, with hesitation, as this pill is hard for others to swallow as well.
So, without hesitation we passed the airport not once, but thrice and made a b line for home were I now rest and hope to capture the energy and power of the rolling thunder and lightning streaks as the external energy shows her face with conviction and sometimes malice. It smells fresh and there is sometimes silence and I hear my breathing, labored a bit. I adjust the weakness of my fingers and that of my legs and shut my eyes occasionally as I am tired, physically exhausted and my trip to New Mexico postponed again with watered eyes and thoughts racing of what should have been as I think calendar dates for re-schedule believing there will be a re-schedule, but beginning to wonder altogether.
For today I am not physically feel well anywhere and the same was for yesterday and the yesterday before that and tomorrow here, looms with the occasional natural, unforced light of an approaching storm from the North and the West reminding me I am to be somewhere else enjoying myself. The phone rings and I wait to hear the message of those that wish me well as they put me in their thoughts and prayers and know their thoughts pure, as is their own thinking of my well being, with hesitation, as this pill is hard for others to swallow as well.
posted by the warrior at 1:59 AM
1 Comments:
I'm so sorry to read this post. I was thinking about you the last couple of days, imagining you happily ensconced on a Santa Fe patch of desert.
My nickname used to be Sunnie because I was so good at finding the bright spot in the midst of dark-I can't seem to find it anymore. All I can say is how sorry I am about all that you are enduring.
Bianca
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